Without Him
by Greedydesire
Summary: This is just an RP I've turned into a story from memory. I did this with my girlfriend, but I didn't write the story with her. Actually she doesn't know at all about this... so. OKAY! Anyways, this is one of many I need to upload. All for now.          -Z


Without Him

Person Speaking: Kimblee

Hey. Huh? You actually want to know about my life so far?

Ah, well that's actually very interesting. Hmm? These rings? Now see, that's a very painful and long story but you seem like you'll be here for awhile so I might as well tell it to someone willing to listen. So sit back and get comfortable...

God this is hard. Him not being here and all. I can't wake up and say, "Good morning, my love." Nor can I fall asleep without briefly glancing at the empty space beside me where he used to sleep. I miss him and I miss him terribly. It's so hard to live alone in this house without him. The constant reminders around the house, and the constant reminders around work. Hell, they put me in his office. A promotion apparantly. Hmph, promotion indeed. However, I guess I should listen to his voice in my head that's telling me to live happily.

However, the only person keeping me from killing myself happens to be gone. I don't know why he left. He had gotten his memory back, and I was glad that I had someone who remembered, but then he left me too. He'll come back though. I wish he was here to hold me and tell me it was alright. I mean sure, he is a sin, but he has more of a heart than the other six. He truely cares about my well being and well, I don't know where he is.

Remember the man who I mentioned in the beginning. No? Well you should. He was my husband, and my lover since before I was in prison. Even before Ishval. I've known him since the academy. I fell for him when I saw how he worked in our first training session together. He was cold and focused, just like any soldier should be. Focused on the task at hand and nothing else.

I don't exactly remember my first meeting with him. Maybe because trying to come onto him in a first meeting doesn't turn out well. I just remember saying "I like the way you work, 'sir'" and then a fist. Next thing I knew, I was in bed with an ice pack on my jaw. Okay sure, I was asking for it each time I tried to come onto him, but it was worth it. However, I had to leave to become a state alchemist half-way through training. It was three years before I saw him again in Ishval. I could tell he had had it rough before us state alchemists got there. I guess we fell for eachother there. I won't go into excessive detail, but I will say we protected eachother.

That was until he got seriously injured and was sent home. I remember crying that night, first time since I was 4. Everything became a blur then. Next thing, I was in jail for seven years. I got out, got married to a woman. Her name was Pandora, but she still wasn't Archer. I had an affair with Major Miles, but again, not like Frank. My Frank... My love.

I got divorced and finally went back to Central. Heard rumors my only love was stationed there. Sure enough, there he was, gun on his desk and pen in his hand. I was reinstated as a lieutenant colonel working under Archer. Unfortunately, I was to be working with Tucker. I lived with Archer for years, finally confessing again.

I put up the whole marriage proposal to him as a joke one night while we were laying in bed together. I was just simply asking for a ring for both of us, and well, that's exactly what I got. I got him one too, a ice blue diamond set in the middle. Cost me a fortune but it was well worth seeing the happy look on his face when he got it.

He never took it off, and I never took mine off either. We loved eachother so much. Until... he got sent out on a mission to Lior. We had been fighting but we had made up just weeks before he left on his final mission. The last words he ever heard me say was my speech on how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. He just gave me a soft smile that only I ever saw and said, "Geez Kim, I'm coming back to you, don't you worry. I promise I'll come back home to you. Remember? I promised I'd be with you forever. So no worries, and... I love you too, my love."

Then that was that. In the blink of an eye he was gone from my life for good. I didn't believe it when they first told me that he was gone. I didn't want to believe it. I knew deep inside they weren't lying to me, but back then, all I wanted to believe was the voice inside my head telling me that he'd come home... just like he promised. I don't know how long I cried after they left me his ring. They told me when they had finished giving him automail that he wasn't himself. Then he was shot down by that bitch, Hawkeye. But again, I really don't know how long I cried once they left. I just know once they gave me his ring, I slammed the door in their face and walked quickly upstairs.

I just sat on my bed, trying to convince myself he would keep his promise and come home to me. Slowly the walls of my sanity crashed down and I broke down into uncontrolable sobs. All the days blurred together and I lost count of how long I cried. All I know is I eventually lost my voice from screaming his name so many times and from crying so much. Next thing I knew was I had strong arms around me and Greed sitting on my bed trying to calm me down. He did what he could but every single movement he made reminded me of how Archer used to calm me down. It hurt so much and I was damn sure my heart had shattered from losing Archer. I'm sure I scared Greed because of how little I was eating.

However then, there wasn't any point to eat. I just wanted to see Archer again. I figured if i ended up dying I'd finally be able to be with him again. Greed told me otherwise and finally I listened. But then, Greed of all people left me too. He came back six months later but of course, I was still depressed.

I was still having nightmares about prison, losing Greed, and finally the day they told me Archer was dead. Well, might as well start telling you about the present, yeah?

Well, I'm living with Greed again, who is well, as insane as usual. I've started researching new types of my alchemy. Mostly implosion. I had started on it before Archer died, and I finally got back around to it. Ah, Greed's back from his shipments so I might as well finish up before he finds out what I'm doing. Until next time, whoever you are.

- Zolf J. Kimblee, Crimson Alchemist

A.N.: Well yeah, this is all based off of a texting rp I did with my girlfriend. It twas very fun, and yeah. I know about half these stories are going to be uploaded on my other account, AngelBalthazar. So in short, I don't have much left to say about this story, other than I just wrote half of it by memory because I delete my text inbox after about 1500 mesages. :3 Soooooooo, yup... I'll probably be uploading a story to explain what happened but, that'll be when I charge my iPod then email myself all the other stories I've started writing. 


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